Say This Write

The Healing Power of Positive Thinking

2012-03-01T17:26:00.000-08:00

Every "brick wall" in life has a silver lining.

To see it, look beyond the trials we can't change and

focus on the attitude we can change.

Life dishes out new challenges, trials, and opportunities every day. Regardless of what hand you were dealt today, you have the power to make it a good day.

We all know we are responsible for our actions. But sometimes we forget that we are also responsible for our attitude. When things go wrong, it's human nature to look for someone or something to blame. This scapegoat process tends to feed our anger, frustration, and pain. These negative feelings continue to build until we say or do something we later regret.

The next time we hit a "brick wall" or find ourselves in a situation that is out of our control, (i.e. the death of a loved one, financial distress, loss of a job, a break-up, or fight with a friend), instead of wasting time and energy on wondering what could have been done or focusing on what was lost, look for the silver lining. If there doesn't seem to be one in sight, make a list of the blessings in your life. It might seem minuscule, but it helps to put into perspective what is going well in our lives when all seems lost.

As we review this list of positives, no matter how long or short it may be, other blessings may pop into mind that we hadn't thought of before. Studying this list over time gives us the mental ammunition we need to move forward. Eventually, we are able to see the silver lining of almost any situation. The heavy heart starts to heal; the weight on our shoulders feels lifted; the brick walls come down. As we help ourselves heal mentally and emotionally, we feel better physically.

Our minds are powerful tools. Focusing on the silver lining in bad situations opens the door to self-healing. It allows us to get back to the person we want to be. Positive thinking doesn't happen easily for some, but that doesn't mean it can't happen.

Brick Wall, Positive Attitude

Spring Clean the Winter Blues Away

2012-02-29T13:53:00.000-08:00

A little spring cleaning today can make the winter blues go away.

Depending on where you live, this time of year can leave people feeling trapped with the winter blues. If you're not fortunate enough to take a mid-winter vacation to a tropical island or a state/country that enjoys 80 degree weather all year 'round, try a different method to brighten your mood ~ spring cleaning.

Before you start rolling your eyes, keep reading! Even if you aren't a "cleaner," and cringe when you hear the word, this can work. Start with one drawer in one room, like the junk drawer in your kitchen or office (you know you have one somewhere ~ we all do!). File or throw away coupons that you put aside months ago. Put loose coins into a saving jar. Make a file for your kids' school papers. Place receipts into a zip-loc bag. Tame unruly cell phone charging cords with a twisty tie or rubber band. Once you have emptied the drawer, thrown away the garbage, and organized what's left, carefully place the "keep" items back into the drawer.

Now take a step back. Don't you feel a little better? A little "lighter?" If you answered "No," keep cleaning. I promise your mood will improve.

Next, go to the cabinet under the kitchen or bathroom sink. Throw away old, empty bottles that you forgot you had. Toss the old, dusty rags (that you haven't touched since the last time you dusted) into the washing machine. Once all the hair products or cleaning supplies are out, get a damp rag and clean the bottom of the cabinet before placing the items back in.

Now, open your coat closet. Is it full of coats and filled with a musty smell? Pull out any coats that haven't been used in a few years and place them in a "donation" bag. Vacuum or sweep the floor of the closet. Now, to get rid of the musty smell, try this trick: tape a fabric softener sheet somewhere in the closet. I tape one (not so discretely) to the top of the molding piece inside the closet. This way, every time the door is opened, the scented sheet swings and freshens the air. When the door is closed, it ensures the coats will stay fresh. Replace the fabric softener sheet about once a week.

These spring cleaning jobs are EASY! They don't take a lot of time, but the little time that you spend can help boost your mood. Doesn't it make you feel better, and your home to seem fresher, when things are clean and organized? It's easy to make sure the dishes are put away, beds are made, and the living room is clean. So why not challenge yourself and see if cleaning out those junk drawers and closets that don't usually get attention will help you break out of the winter blues.

And if you're still not convinced, book a trip to Hawaii!

Spring Cleaning

Time For A Techno Self Check

2012-02-23T10:50:00.000-08:00

Life goes by fast, but not staying up on technology trends will leave you in the dust.

In today's economy, a good job that you love and are well qualified for can be hard to come by and difficult to hold on to. Technology is replacing many jobs that were once thought of as mainstream, leaving well-educated men and women wondering what to do next.

Use technology to stay afloat on the new trends that seem to appear daily. Don't let the new apps and gadgets scare you. Instead, learn how to use them to your advantage. Get onto Google and type in the name of an app that interests, frustrates, or annoys you. Download a tutorial and read up on how to put it to use. Invest some money in an upgraded phone, computer software, or tablet and learn their functions. Check out other social media trends that seem to be taking over society. The fact is, they're not going away. They're only improving!

While technology makes life easier, it can also be used against us. Remember that today, anyone can be a detective. Employers are going to do their research before hiring and if your night on the town is displayed with raunchy photos on your Facebook page or fowl language on your Twitter account, you might look less desirable than what your resume portrays. So, while you are enjoying the ease of online sharing with your social media BFFs, keep in mind that you are also marketing yourself to the business world (whether you intend to or not). Don't post anything online today that might embarrass you tomorrow. Always put your best self out there, because you never know who is watching!

Techno Self Check

Break Through Your Glass Ceiling

2012-02-07T08:08:00.000-08:00

For years, without knowing, I've built a glass room:

Four walls and a ceiling, but no room to bloom.

I know there's more to me than what meets the eye,

So I'm going to be brave; new things will I try.

~ Stacy Coles

We all know about the figurative glass ceiling in the corporate world. But there is also a glass ceiling in our personal world. A barrier we make ourselves that we, alone, have the power to break through.

It becomes so easy to limit ourselves when we get into a comfort zone. Not many people like the idea of change or trying something new. But, if we sit idle in our everyday routine, we don't grow. We need to dig down deep and find what our true potential is.

Think about what you do daily, whether you are busy at home with kids or work a 9 to 5 job. Then, ask yourself if you're happy doing what you're doing. If you are, think of what you could do to step it up. There's always something we can do to challenge ourselves. If you aren't happy, decide what you would rather be doing or think of something else you'd like to try. Once you have an idea in mind, take actions to make it happen.

Some may decide to change careers. Others may just want to change their attitude about what they're doing. Our personal glass ceilings are as unique as we are. Because of this, it's up to us to break through the barrier that keeps us from reaching our full potential. Once those barriers are broken, the sky is the limit to reinvent ourselves. Not a total transformation ~ just take what's already great about you and make it fabulous!

Glass Ceiling

No One Is Perfect

2012-01-18T20:16:00.000-08:00

Every time you point a finger at someone, there will always be three pointing back at you.

~ Author unknown

How often do we find ourselves pointing fingers or scoffing at someone's mishaps or failures? We might even do it without realizing it.

We all have days when nothing seems to go right. There are times when we feel like our best effort just isn't good enough. On these days, a kind gesture goes a long way. A smile, a helping hand, or a kind word of encouragement works better in lifting our spirits than does criticism or ridicule. No one wants to be kicked when they're down.

When we find ourselves on the criticizing end, remember that no one is perfect ~ NO ONE. Even those who always look happy on the outside and seem to have life figured out have challenges and trials. No one is exempt. If we could keep this in mind, there would be a lot less contention and judging among family, friends, and neighbors. It would keep us on more of an equal ground, open up doors of communication, and bring us closer to those around us.

The next time we find ourselves criticizing someone, remember that we all have moments when we'd like to bury our head in the sand. Instead of judging, stop and ask, "How would I feel if it was me?" We might find ourselves responding with more compassion and less criticism.

Finger Pointing

Finding the Courage to Try

2012-01-12T19:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow."

~ Thomas S. Monson

Running a marathon. Writing a book. Taking the Bar exam. Starting a business. Traveling the world. We all have something on our bucket list, something we want to accomplish, or something we are working towards. And often times, we don't succeed the first time. It takes courage to continue trying when we fail at something. It takes courage to try again when others tell us we can't. It takes courage to make our dreams come true.

There are always going to be oppositions in life. That won't change. How we deal with those oppositions will determine the outcome of our goals. If we give in to the challenges that will undoubtedly come our way, our goals and dreams get put on hold. Sometimes our self-esteem suffers. We might start doubting our abilities and our focus changes, unless we find the courage within us to try again.

Take on oppositions as a challenge. Take them on with courage and you will feel a new zest for achieving your goals. Don't listen to anyone who tells you it can't be done or that you will fail. The truth is, you might fail. But if you do, brush yourself off and try again. And again. And again..

Remember that anything is possible, especially in this day and age. Opportunity is at everyone's fingertips. The ingredient that is often missing is courage. It's scary to put yourself out there, to make things happen. But finding the courage to try and accomplish what you've set out to do can be empowering. And your success might rub off on someone else. Start with a small thought of ~ "I Can Do This!"~ and watch what happens.

Don't let anything get in your way. Don't let anyone get you down. And don't stop trying.

Courage To Try

Resolve To Get Organized

2012-01-03T13:00:00.000-08:00

Most of us make New Year's resolutions that end up being broken, forgotten, and therefore, unresolved by the end of January.

This is the time to change that. Start with a simple step ~ get a calendar! Buy one, print one, draw one, download one. Just get one. Once you have a calendar, take just 10 minutes to sit down (perhaps with a phone nearby to call for help) and write down birthdays, appointments, trips, science-fair projects, basketball games, dance recitals ~ whatever it is that you know you have coming up this year. A few minutes of organization now will save time later.

Place your calendar somewhere you will see it everyday. If your calendar is on paper, highlight the birthdays in one color, appointments in another color, and games in another. If you are using a digital form, attach a chime or reminder tone to these important dates. Give yourself some kind of reminder to send a birthday card, make a phone call, or get in your car so you don't miss what's on your schedule.

By taking a few minutes to do this now, you will start the year off feeling (and looking) more organized and focused on what's important in your life. Being organized on paper, or digitally, will help you achieve any other resolutions you make right now or in the future.

Organization

Traditions Old and New

2011-12-12T12:44:00.000-08:00

Christmas traditions old and new,

what works for me may not work for you.

The important thing is we work together

to make memories that will last forever.

~ Stacy Coles

Christmas used to be my favorite time of year. Every neighborhood seemed so magical with Christmas lights bringing dark streets to life when the sun went down. Everyone seemed nicer and more willing to help those in need. The anticipation on Christmas Eve of the surprise that would be found under the tree the next morning used to make my heart burst with excitement. So, why do most adults seem to forget this sense of holiday magic?

It's called time! As we get older, we seem to take less time to enjoy the things that used to bring joy to our lives this time of year. Instead, we use all of our time scouring around trying to plan the perfect party, buy the perfect gift, and make everything perfect for everyone around us. And through it all, we forget to take the time to enjoy the holiday movies we grew up with, bake the holiday cookies that our moms used to make, or enjoy the magic that fills the air.

This Christmas season, make yourself stop for a few minutes and think about three things you remember most about the holidays when you were younger. What made Christmas magic for you? What made you giddy with excitement? Between now and Christmas, make one (or all three) of those memories come alive again ~ for your family, now! Pull out an old recipe from your mom's recipe book (make a few phone calls ~ someone will have it). Send Christmas cards to a few families from your old neighborhood. Think of the joy on their faces when they receive some holiday cheer from you! My favorite Christmas memory was going caroling with our neighbors on a flatbed pick-up truck filled with hay bails to sit on. We drove through the streets, snuggled in blankets, singing carols. Most of us didn't know all the words, and the rest sang off key. After our toes were numb, we would all cram into my mom's humble kitchen and dining room for chili, bread sticks and hot chocolate. Thinking about that now, I honestly don't know how that many people fit into such a cozy area. But the memory is still just as cozy!

I haven't been able to talk my family into continuing this tradition quite yet, but my kids know the holiday classic, "It's A Wonderful Life," within seconds of any scene. Yes, the old black-and-white films are one tradition I insist on so my family can say they've been cultured!

Family traditions might change over time. The important thing is to make memories that will last a lifetime. Incorporate favorites from both your upbringing and those from your spouse's childhood. Use the ones that work for your family and have fun making new ones.

Christmas is still my favorite time of year. Although time seems like a rare commodity these days, taking the time to recognize precious moments and cherish new traditions might allow for time to slow down a little bit this holiday season. You can't find the holiday Spirit if you don't take the time to look for it.

Family Traditions

Christmas Traditions

Thankful Thoughts

2011-11-17T09:33:00.000-08:00

This time of year, many of us are preparing menus for Thanksgiving dinner, arranging travel plans to reunite with loved ones, or maybe dreading all of the hustle and bustle the holidays bring. Regardless of where your thoughts are about the upcoming celebrations, take a minute to appreciate all the little things in your life that you would not normally think of as blessings. It's these little things that we don't give much thought to, that we complain about, or we might just completely take for granted, that make our lives comfortable.

***

I Am Thankful For...

The clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

All the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.

The lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear.

The mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

The taxes I pay because it means that I am employed.

My shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

The spot I find at the end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

The piles of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

Weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.

A lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.

My heating bill because it means I am warm.

The alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am alive.

~ Author Unknown

***

By changing the way we think about these irritations in our lives, we will be able to see just how blessed we are. Make your own list of things that might be considered annoyances in your life. Then, challenge yourself to find the blessing in each item on your list. You might be surprised at just how much you have to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

I Am Thankful For

A Little Wiggle Room

2011-11-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

Allow some wiggle room in your routine

and the bumps will be straiter than they seem.

~ Stacy Coles

Are you one of those people who are so schedule driven, so task oriented, that you break into a sweat when an unexpected obstacle puts a kink in your day? Do you follow the words of Henry A. Kissinger who said, "There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full,"?

Schedules are wonderful things. Whether we write down appointments in a planner or review a calorie-counter on our favorite electronic device, staying organized helps us stay focused on our goals. Without a plan and a direction, we can easily get distracted or procrastinate and nothing gets accomplished.

However, learning how to give ourselves a little wiggle room can be just as important. By not getting so agitated when we hit obstacles (and we will), our mental and physical health will improve and we might be surprised at what gets done ~ without feeling stressed.

Begin every day (or every project) with the idea that you will do your best. Set out to accomplish the goals on your agenda, but, mentally prepare by telling yourself that life will still go on if you don't check everything off your list. Knowing that we are putting forth our best effort should be enough for us to feel good about what we HAVE accomplished.

Prioritize your goals. Make sure you work on the most important tasks first. This way, your energy is focused where it should be. Don't beat yourself up for the little things that don't get done. Tomorrow is another day. The tasks that don't get accomplished today can be moved to the top of tomorrow's list.

Change can be a good thing. If you try to change your routine at least once a week, just a little, you can train yourself to adjust better to the bigger obstacles that might come down the road. Many of us get into a comfort zone with our daily routine. It's actually hard to plan extras into the day because it's not the norm. Start small. Have something different for breakfast. Try a new restaurant for lunch. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Use a different machine at the gym. Change doesn't have to be so enormous that we are traumatized. Just pick something little and out of the ordinary to start. It might sound like a silly exercise, but it's good training for our brains. It shows us that life will not fall apart by doing something different.

By doing our best, prioritizing our tasks, and training ourselves to be ok with a little change every now and then, we allow ourselves a little wiggle room in our chaotic lives. We can actually help eliminate stress from our day-to-day schedules if learn how to deal with the unexpected obstacles that always appear. Doing this will help us tackle every day with confidence instead of stress.

Wiggle Room

Full Schedule

Falling In Love & Staying In Love

2011-10-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

You don't get to choose who you fall in love with; that's why it's called "falling" in love. However, you do get to choose to stay in love. And staying in love takes work on both sides.

Always remember why you fell in love in the first place. Every couple will have their ups and downs. It's part of life. When the downs get in the way, go to your separate corners and take a breather. Let yourselves cool off. And, while you are regaining your composure, think about three things you were attracted to when you first met your significant other. Think about what he/she was wearing, how their eyes sparkled in the light of the room, the chills that went up and down your spine the first time you held hands. These are the little things that can rekindle that fire, no matter how long you've been together.

Recreate the dating spark. Ok, so you've been married for years and it's hard to find time to connect with soccer practices and piano lessons. All of us long for that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling every time the one you love enters the room. If you haven't felt that way about your significant other for a while, it's time to make it happen again. Think about the days when you quickly stopped kissing when someone entered the room, or when you tried to sneak around the corner into the dark hallway to squeeze in some alone time without being spotted. Remember the adrenaline rush from the thought of being caught? Bring back that same fun by hiding the PDAs from the young, peering eyes under your roof. Just keep the rekindling game clean so that when the kiddies do catch you, they won't be too scarred!

Get your flirt on. Just because you've been together for years doesn't mean the flirting has to stop. Make your significant other know that you only have eyes for them. Let them know how much you love and appreciate them. Leave little love notes on the bathroom mirror or in their briefcase or purse. Tell them how good they look when they get ready for the day. Tell them to remember there will be someone waiting for them when they come home. Make them feel anxious to get back home.

Look your best for your spouse. Guys, put on cologne. Ladies, wear some lipstick. Dress as though you have somewhere to go. And when your significant other asks you what you're dressed up for, tell them it's for him/her. They will feel pretty special knowing you are still trying to impress them. Just because you're married, doesn't mean you should stop trying.

It makes everyone feel good to see a couple still in love after years of togetherness. Time doesn't have to dull romance. Take on life's challenge of rekindling the spark that may be dwindling. Don't let the fire go out. You found the one you want to be with forever, so put in the effort to make your forever great! Falling in love is up to fate. Staying in love is up to you.

Staying In Love

Value Your Values

2011-10-12T18:55:00.000-07:00

In a day when compromising values is more and more acceptable, it's all the more important to make sure our values are carefully guarded.

How do we do this? Define what those values are. Take a minute, now while it's on your mind, and think about the top five (or more) most important personality traits or characteristics that make you who you are and that you absolutely don't want compromised. Some examples of this might be:

Integrity

Honesty

Virtue

Faithful to spouse

Hard worker

Optimistic

Goal oriented

Now, write them down. Tape the list to your bathroom mirror; keep a copy in your purse or wallet; save it as part of your wallpaper on your computer or cell phone. Put it in a place where you will see it everyday. Encourage your family members or close friends to do the same. It will force you to really think about the type of person you are, or who you want to be. If there are values you feel you don't currently possess, but have the desire to develop, add them to your list. Be consciously aware of them and work until they become part of you. Then, make sure nothing compromises them.

When magazines, movies, ads, and sometimes friends make compromising our values sound appealing and popular, it can be hard to stand strong, especially when it leaves us feeling like we're standing alone. But, when you find yourself in these situations, pull out your values list. Remember that this list represents who you are and don't let anything or anyone stand in your way to live up to your list.

Never be ashamed to value your values! By standing strong in the midst of a confusing and misleading world, you might be the example that someone else needs to lean on ~ or look up to ~ until their values are strong enough to provide them with a firm foundation.

Don't let the world make you compromise what you cherish most. It's easier to stand up for what you believe in when you know what you believe in. If you know what values you hold dear, the world can't make them disappear.

Values

Practicing What We Preach

2011-10-02T16:16:00.000-07:00

* Have you ever found yourself yelling at your child/sibling/friend while you are telling them to keep their voice down?

* Have you ever told your child/sibling/friend to be thankful for the talents they have while you are secretly wishing you could sing, draw, sew, play piano, or play sports as well as your neighbor?

* Have you ever told your child/sibling/friend that they are not alone when you feel overwhelmingly lonely?

Often times we dish out helpful advice to those we know and love with the purest of intentions, not realizing that we are just as guilty of the same fault we are trying to correct in someone else. Sometimes our advice to others can be the most therapeutic when applied to our own lives.

When we are on the outside of the situation looking in, it's easy for us to see options and solutions that otherwise could easily be overlooked. The trick is that once we dish the advice, we need to take the time to reflect on our own words of wisdom. While reflecting, consider applying your insightful advice to your own life. Even if it doesn't relate to a situation in your life now, it might in the future. Write the advice down in a notebook. Then, you will have it and be able to reflect at a later time in life when it might be more applicable.

If we practice what we preach, we will also learn to be less critical of others. We acknowledge our own limitations and realize that we are capable of solving our personal conflicts. It's humbling when we realize the benefits of our own words of wisdom. As we put our advice to practice, we grow, knowing that we, too, have room to improve. Others will be more likely to take our advice if we practice what we preach.

Practice What We Preach

Season of Change

2011-09-12T15:48:00.000-07:00

Change isn't something to be afraid of,

it's something to be inspired by.

~ Stacy Coles

Look out the window and you will notice a slight change in the colors all around you. There is a hint of crispness in the air during the early hours of the morning. The cooler winds pull at the weakening leaves that hang on their billowing branches. I get a renewed sense of excitement as these early signs of fall become more visible and it's time, again, to break out the fall decorations.

A season of change is good in more ways than just rotating your porch decor. It's a great time to reorganize your closets, de-clutter your mind, and re-focus your goals. Make this time of year the jumping off point to finish that book, train for that race, sign up for that painting class, or whatever it is you've been putting off. Think about it, there is just enough time left in the year. It's a great time to begin a goal, finish a project, or revamp your New Year's resolution that you gave up on in February.

Use the inspiring shades of firery-burnt orange, sunset-mustard yellow, rusty-barn red, deep olive green, and tree branch brown to regenerate your senses. Bring these colors into your kitchen as you try new recipes using peaches, squash, tomatoes, zucchini, and pumpkins from your garden (or, if your green thumb isn't very green, like mine, visit your local Farmer's Market). Incorporate the seasonal smells like ginger, nutmeg, and cinnamon as you bake and can your favorite harvested fruits and vegetables. For me, the smells of fall begin with the aroma of peppers, onions, and tomatoes as my mom's salsa recipe simmers on my stove. It's amazing how smells can revive precious memories. And if the memories are accompanied by a few tears, blame the onions!

Bring an instant change to your home decor by incorporating the colors of the season with accessories. Decorative pillows, ceramic vases, silk plants and flowers, and even art work are easy ways to update any room with inspiring seasonal colors.

Be open to the invigorating smells and beautiful colors around you this time of year. Welcome the change of the seasons and see what exciting things you are inspired to change, try, or add to your day. These changes, whether they are making fall wall art or trying a new recipe, could become new traditions that can be passed down through generations.

Inspiring Change

Turn Dreams into Reality

2011-08-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a dream? It could be something you've wanted to accomplish; maybe visiting a far away place; or becoming something great? Have you ever had anyone tell you, "You're dreaming?"

Of course you're dreaming! We all have dreams. We all have things we would love to accomplish or become someday. Today I challenge you to turn your dreams into reality. We are all capable of doing this. The first key is to START. Just break it down and take it one step at a time.

Write down your dreams. Once a dream is written down, it becomes a goal.
Write down three steps that will bring your goal closer to reality. Three steps feel more attainable than an open-ended dream.
Make a timeline. If you write down an actual date or deadline to work towards, you are more likely to accomplish your goal. A deadline will help make your journey feel real.
Make a reward. What will happen when you achieve your goal? A shopping spree? A trip? A night out on the town? Or the simple, yet satisfying feeling of realizing your dream has come true!

The second key is to not let anyone tell you it can't be done. The minute you give in to this ridicule, your dream will remain a dream. Instead, let the nay-sayer be the one left with eyes reeling when they see you are living your dream. Remember that anything is possible with hard work and perseverance. Nothing will happen if you just keep dreaming about it. Put your dream into action and make it come true.

The third key is to believe in yourself; believe that you deserve to be happy; believe that you are capable of making things happen. When you have this kind of faith in yourself, you've got the world in your hands. Do something great with your golden opportunity.

Finally, don't give up! Too often, we give up on our dreams if they don't happen on the first try. We figure we're better off, or tell ourselves, It was just a dream! Remember, Rome was not built in a day. Your dream might take years and years of hard work before it becomes a reality. But, that glorious day of celebration will never come if your dream gets sidelined by self-doubt.

Every dream is worth working for. Dream big, then work hard. You are just as deserving to have your dreams come true as anyone else. What will set you apart from the next person, is how hard you work to turn your dreams into reality.

Dream Big

Get Moving!

2011-08-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

We all know that exercise is important for our physical health. But we often forget the emotional and mental benefits that exercise also offers. As we get our heart rates up, the endorphins that are released can help clear our minds and boost our moods. And, when you burn calories while performing daily tasks, you will feel like you've accomplished a lot more at the end of the day.

There are so many different ways to get moving and get our heart rates up. However, most people use the excuse that there is never enough time to exercise. Between house and yard work, kids, jobs, and school, there is always something taking up our time, making us say, "I can't." There is a quote from John Wooden that says, "Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." Here are ways to get our muscles working and get our heart rates going while taking care of every day duties.

When you are at work, make it a point to take the stairs instead of the elevator.

Find ways around the house to burn a few extra calories. If you are taking laundry up/down to the laundry room, separate your clothes into piles and take a trip up/down the stairs for each pile. This might seem really cumbersome, but trust me, you'll feel your legs burning in no time.

Wash your windows. Hand washing your windows is a great workout for your arms. If you don't believe me, you haven't tried it lately. Grab your favorite glass cleaner, paper towels, a cloth, or a squeegee and get to work. This workout is also affective while washing mirrors (especially when you're trying to scrub off those stubborn hairspray spots!!).

You will almost always break a sweat while mopping your kitchen floor, even if your floor area isn't that big. Whether you are hand washing and scrubbing, or using a mop, you will absolutely feel your muscles the next day.

Everyone needs to visit the grocery store at some point during the week. When you go, make it a point to park in the far end of the parking lot and walk the distance to the store's entrance. If you're in a hurry, speed up your walk!

Putting your groceries away can also provide some calorie-burning opportunities. As you put away your canned goods, do some weight-lifting reps. Fit in 10 reps with every two cans you are placing in the cupboard. Your family members might laugh, but you'll be the one laughing when your arm muscles are toned.

Pulling weeds will usually wake up any muscles you haven't used for a while. And, depending on the time of day you choose to tackle this job, you can work up a good enough sweat to maybe help soften the soil (ok, that's gross, but if you're a sweater, it's true!).

Does the dog need to be walked? Be the one to volunteer for the job. It's a great time to get in an extra 20- to 30-minute walk. Your dog won't be the only one receiving the benefits.

When your kids are looking for something to do, especially during the long summer days, pull out your bikes and go on a family bike ride. It doesn't have to be very long, but it can be memorable. It's great when you can combine quality family time with burning calories. That's extra rewarding!

If you are taking kids (or siblings) to soccer practice, walk some laps around the field. It will make practice time go by faster and you will feel like you've accomplished something during the hour.

In a busy world where every minute is precious, make every minute count. There are usually ways in those pesky daily tasks to burn extra calories. When you get moving, you will benefit physically, mentally, and emotionally. You will feel like you are better able to tackle the every day tasks. And when you are tired at the end of the day, you can sleep well knowing that you have done something good ~ for you!

Get Moving

Triumph Over Tragedy

2011-07-25T15:54:00.000-07:00

If you look for the good during trial and pain,

your spirit and outlook will not be the same.

Instead of drowning in sorrows, so grim,

your days will be brighter; you'll find strength from within.

~ Stacy Coles

Tragedy and trials come in different ways for each of us. Some of us have experienced the loss of a parent, the loss of a child, or the pain of not being able to have children. Some have heard the chilling words that they have an incurable disease. Some have experienced the heartache of watching their home being destroyed by natural disaster. Some have found they are paralyzed after a sporting or car accident. Unfortunately, we will all experience some sort of tragedy in our lives. How we deal with these challenges or tragedies will define who we are, and in some aspects shape the rest of our lives.

When we find ourselves in the face of adversity and trial, it might feel easier to give up or give in than to work through the pain. When it feels like the darkness is never-ending and all hope feels lost, remember that tomorrow is another day. We each possess a lot more strength within us than we give ourselves credit for. Finding this strength might be a challenge, but it's there.

Take things one day at a time. Don't expect things to turn around all at once. Be patient with yourself, with those around you, and with the situation. Time might not change the outcome of your circumstances, but it does heal.

Look for the good. This can be hard, especially when you are in the midst of a tragedy. But, looking for the positive in a bad situation can immediately start the healing process. Those who have lost parents can lean on the life lessons they were taught. Those who have lost children too soon can rely on their precious memories and the time they were blessed with. Those who have lost a home can count their blessings as they comfort their family members who are safe. Those who suffer from a disease can become a beacon of hope as others watch their willpower to fight. Even in the worst of circumstances, try to find one good thing that has emerged from it. This might take some time to do, or some help from those around you ~ but find it. This one ray of sunshine, no matter how dim, can make a world of difference. When you find one piece of hope, you can build on it, find strength in it. Pretty soon, that one ray of hope will brighten your days more and more until you see the sunshine in it's entirety again.

Lose yourself in service. One of the best ways to lift yourself out of a bad place is by serving others. Service is a great way to bless other people's lives and forget your own trials. When helping those in need, you focus on the feelings and necessities of others. And by witnessing how your efforts help lift their spirits, you will, in turn, be lifting your own. Soon, your own trials might seem more manageable and less burdensome.

We all have a choice when trials come our way. We can let the bad take us down and keep us down, or we can pick ourselves up and turn the bad into something good. Regardless of how bad things might seem today, tomorrow is another day. Each tomorrow offers new hope and new possibilities. If we stay focused on the positives, we can draw the strength we need to triumph over our tragedies. After all, it's how we deal with trials, not the trials themselves, that determine our outcome.

Look For The Good

Triumph Over Tragedy

Deal With Trials

Circle of Friends

2011-07-19T16:09:00.000-07:00

If you first look at home for your circle of friends,

that circle of friends will never end.

~ Stacy Coles

Every day we are surrounded by people, whether it be at home, at school, at work, or at extra-curricular activities. It's important to be friendly to everyone and to accept others. It's also important to surround yourself with positive influences.

From the time we enter kindergarten, we are on a journey to find our place and our individuality. The irony is that this identity often comes through those we associate with. We allow our friends to somewhat define who we are, whether we intend to or not. We "try out" different friends to see which ones fit our personalities and interests the best. Some people get lucky and connect with that perfect individual or group who sticks by them through thick and thin. Some aren't as lucky and keep trying out different friends, even through adulthood. And some act as chameleons and blend well with whomever they are with at the time.

Take inventory of the friends in your life. Value the ones you have, but always make room for more. If your circle of friends is a positive one, you will always have a great support system. In good times and in bad, you will never feel alone. If you have a friend or two who constantly bring you down, or are always negative, keep them as friends (you may be the positive influence they need in their lives), but don't let your social identity depend on them. Search for those who will make you want to be better and who will support you in making good choices. Parents, encourage your kids to look for friends who make good choices, but be careful not to pick their friends for them. Remember, you are the parent. By default, the friends you choose for your kids will be the ones they want nothing to do with.

As you acquire your circle of friends, don't overlook your own family. As the old saying goes: friends may come and go, but family is forever. We all know that family can be the hardest people to get along with, at times. But, these relationships are the most important to maintain. Learn to let bygones be bygones; forgive and forget; praise the accomplishments; support through devastation; love unconditionally. Family can make the best friends.

It doesn't matter if you have one friend or 100. Be the kind of friend you want to have. Before you know it, others will be wanting you in their circle of friends (and your family will want to keep you in theirs).

Circle of Friends

Love Who You Are

2011-07-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you don't measure up when you see a picture of a model in a magazine or on a billboard? Have you ever envied your best friend because he/she looks great in whatever they wear? Do you get jealous when you witness the amazing talents of someone you know? Well, this is your invitation to stop downplaying yourself and love who you are!

Allowing destructive thoughts in your head is damaging to your self-esteem. Stop saying, "I will never look like that model." Remember that photoshop is ALWAYS used in the media ~ even on the models you think look perfect. Stop saying, "My friend always looks so much better than I do." It's very possible that your friend is having the same thoughts about you. Stop thinking, "Why can't I be that talented?" You have talents that others might envy. Stop the paralyzing thoughts. That is how the world wants us to think.

When we let these destructive thoughts take over, we start thinking something is wrong with us. We begin looking for a cure-all or a self-help gadget that will change our life. We might spend money expecting outrageous results, only to find we've wasted our money. We start to doubt ourselves, our abilities, and our talents. We end up with feelings of anxiety, jealousy, and hatred towards ourselves or others.

So, how do we stop these paralyzing and destructive thoughts? When these feelings start creeping in, stamp them out by thinking of or writing down three things you like about yourself. It might sound silly, but give it a try. You will soon find that you have more to offer, more in your favor, and more talents or qualities than you realize. It's not boasting or bragging. It's learning to love who you are. It's learning to accept who you are. To love another, you must first love yourself.

The next time you look in the mirror, instead of picking out flaws in your figure, focus on features you always get complimented on. Find a way to accentuate the positive. If it's the color of your eyes, wear a shirt that will make your eyes pop. If it's your smile, make sure you floss before you leave the house so others notice. If it's your feet, wear a great pair of sandals that will draw attention to them.

Now that the positive features are accentuated, focus on the things we can all do every day to feel better mentally and physically. Start your morning or end your day with a walk or strengthening exercises. Replace your daily drink of choice with water. Instead of a piece of cake for dessert, try fruit and yogurt. When you're healthy on the inside, you'll feel better all over.

So, now that you have accentuated your positive features and worked on maintaining your mental and physical well-being, there's one more thing: remember that you are great! You don't have to look like someone else, or act like someone else, or emulate someone else's talents to stand out. Every person is different for a reason. What a boring world this would be if we all looked the same or had the same talents. There would be no room for progression. And that's what we are here to do ~ to progress. We learn from each other because of our different talents.

Hold your head high today and love who you are. Know that you don't have to look like a model to look good. Compliment your friend on how wonderful you think he/she is or looks; you might just get a compliment in return. Embrace your own talents as you enjoy someone else's. As you learn to accept who you are, and learn to love who you are, it will be easier to love and learn from those around you.

Love Yourself

Fight with Words of Kindness

2011-06-30T16:41:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been offended? Insulted? Humiliated? Wronged? Cheated? Hurt? If your answer is no, you're lying.

We've all experienced one or more of these awkward, unpleasant feelings of pain and anguish at some point, and there are more to come. It's part of life! A normal reaction would be that of retaliation. Surely, getting back at the one who made the initial offense deserves payback, right? They deserve to feel the same pain that they put upon you. Will that take away the pain? Will revenge right the wrong?

You might be quick to answer "yes", at first, but if you take a deep breath and look at the situation from a different perspective, your answer might change.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Is the person who offended you having a bad day? Are they going through a bad situation at this point in their life? Are they not feeling well and they are just taking it out on you? Or, maybe you don't know the person, or don't know them well enough to know what's going on in their head. That's ok. You don't have to know to be the "bigger" person.

A technique that has proven to be successful is to retaliate with kind words, compliments, or acts of service. I'm sensing some raised eyebrows or rolling eyes right now, but I promise it works ~ on so many levels.

First, by responding to offenses, insults, or hurtful remarks with a calm voice and kind words, or even acts of service, you are taking the power away from the offender and turning the negative energy into something positive. If this result doesn't happen right away, keep at it. It will happen. It's hard at first, but once you get going, you'll find it's actually fun.

Second, your offender will eventually realize that the hurtful comments are not affecting you the way they intended. As they stumble for another method of verbal fencing, you keep finding kind words to retaliate with. Your offender will be so caught off guard, they might even stop attacking long enough to say, "Thank you." It's hard to fight against compliments.

Third, hearing your calm voice, kind words, or positive comments might make your offender realize that he/she is acting childish and that fighting words aren't necessary. You might be surprised to find that the whole mood of the situation has changed for the better.

Finally, if you find a way to serve your offender (i.e. write a kind note, give them a plate of cookies, mow their lawn, etc.), your feelings will change toward your offender. That anger or hurt inside will turn to love, or at least respect. And, chances are, it will be reciprocated. Service softens hearts ~ on both sides.

If you are still skeptical, try it. By becoming the peacemaker, your feelings start healing faster. And, you might end up with a new friend. If that's a stretch, at least you won't have any regrets about how you acted or what you said. You leave the situation with your head held high. Remember, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Fight With Kind Words

What Inspires You?

2011-06-20T17:00:00.000-07:00

A beautiful sunset at the end of a rainy day.
Watching my kids laugh ~ with each other, not at each other.
Baking, especially during the holidays.
Writing something and knowing that people are actually reading it.
The smell of apple cinnamon or vanilla spice air fresheners.
Hearing someone tell me "It's impossible." I love to prove them wrong, because anything is possible!
My husband ~ he has always been a go-getter.
Knowing that nothing gets done when nothing is done.

We all have different things that inspire us just as we all have different things we are aspiring for. When we feel out of inspiration, we need to stop and take the time to utilize our senses.

If we take a minute in our busy schedules to look up and see the open sky, or feel the love of a child coming through a tight hug, or smell the spices in a batch of warm pumpkin cookies (I have a great recipe if you are craving this inspiration right now!), or hear the calming sounds of our favorite song, we just might revive the inspiration we need to get through the rest of the day.

We all have days when we become overwhelmed with exhaustion just thinking about the many things we need to get done. When we let ourselves become so overwhelmed, our inspiration goes out the window along with our energy. Daily affirmations are a good way to get out of this slump. This doesn't mean standing in front of the mirror, reciting, "I'm good enough; I'm smart enough...," like we watched on Saturday Night Live years ago. But, reminding ourselves that if we don't do something, we will accomplish nothing.

Turn to the things that inspire you. Make a list of those inspirations. Tape it to your mirror. Keep it in your wallet. Put it somewhere that you can read it if you need a little inspiration. It might not immediately change the outcome of what you are doing, but it might inspire you to keep going; to keep trying. Let your inspiration drive you to make the impossible possible.

Your inspiration might have the power to change a bad day into a good one, after all. Don't let a poor attitude, or lack of energy, or feeling sorry for yourself get the best of you. You have the power to change the outcome of your day. Pull out your list and get inspired. Take control and make something great happen today!

Inspiration

Standing United

2011-05-30T16:23:00.000-07:00

Tragedy and trials might strike us down

but, together we pull each other up from the ground.

We find strength in freedom, in liberty, in hope,

United we stand, helping each other to cope.

Our troops, then and now, have fought unselfishly,

risking their lives to bring opportunity.

Leaving families and loved ones behind as they fight,

We thank you for defending and securing our rights!

~ Stacy Coles

As a nation, we have seen devastation through natural disaster, and tragedy through terrorism. But one thing has always set the United States apart from other countries: when the dust settles, our flag is still standing. It's a symbol of our unity as a nation. A symbol that we, as a people, will buoy up our neighbor in their time of need. We will donate our time, money, efforts, love, and prayers when someone, somewhere is hurting or suffering.

As a people, we may disagree on political and religious fronts. But, we know to put our differences aside when it matters. We know that people matter; that family matters. And when tragedy strikes, we are all affected because we are a family fighting, here and overseas, to preserve our freedom, our liberty, and our hope.

As a family, we will continue to pray for our troops and for those who are suffering through loss. We, as a united family, will continue to do all we can to bring relief, support, and love to those in need. We will continue to pull each other up when we fall. We will continue to teach our children to honor the flag that flies in the wind and reminds us of all that has been sacrificed on our behalf. We will continue to feel pride when we salute those stars and stripes.

What a blessing to know that we are not alone in our battle of liberty. We stand tall with a strong army by our side and a constitution in our hearts as we defend our freedoms. And when we are hit with trials that are too heavy to carry alone, we are there for each other in our efforts to uplift, rebuild, and move on. What a truly blessed nation we live in. Even through natural disaster and terrorism, we have not lost sight that we are the United States of America; land of the free and home of the brave. We are proud to be Americans.

Flag

Procrastinate Some Other Day

2011-05-21T15:19:00.000-07:00

"Don't put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today."

~ Author unknown

I've been meaning to write about this topic for awhile, now, but other things kept coming up and taking preference. It happens to all of us. A project that gets put on the back burner until we find more time. It might be a project that we loathe doing, or a long to-do list that makes us tired when we think about it: a junk drawer to clean out; a shelf to put up in the garage; a ceiling spot that needs to be re-painted. It might be something we enjoy doing, but is too time-consuming and we dread the effort or mess the project involves: updating a scrapbook; sewing a dress; planting a vegetable garden.

No matter what your long-awaiting project may be, do it now. Today. Devote the next 10 minutes of your time to your project. Get out your supplies and get going. The only thing holding you back is you. No more excuses. Don't keep telling yourself, "I'll do it later," or "I'll get to it someday." You know that if you continue on this thought process, things will never get done. Someday is not a day of the week. Procrastinating on our projects leaves us feeling heavy and bogged down. No one wants to end their day feeling like they haven't accomplished anything.

So, how do you get the motivation to actually get moving on these projects? Just remember, nothing will get done unless you do something. Start somewhere. Think in the back of your mind, "If I just do it, it will be done." Thinking this can actually help get you through your project. It's the power of positive thinking.

It's an amazing feeling to finish a project that has been put on the shelf for so long. It motivates you to do more. It doesn't have to take a lot of time. Just give yourself enough time to get going. You might be surprised how much you can get accomplished in a small amount of time. And, if time permits, you might find yourself motivated to continue on your project-finishing journey. Before you know it, you'll be crossing those items off of your to-do list.

One sure way to get yourself moving is to place the items you need for your project somewhere you will see them. Someplace that will be embarrassingly visible to company when they come to visit. Someplace that will constantly be in your way during regular day-to-day tasks. This will prompt you, every time you pass this spot, to clear out that project. But, the only way to clear it out is to finish it. This technique has worked for me. It can work for you. True, sometimes life really does get in the way and you find yourself looking at a craft project sitting on your kitchen counter for a week. No matter how many times you clean your kitchen ~ around the paint and craft supplies ~ the room never feels clean because that nagging, unfinished project is staring you in the eyes. So, devote 10 minutes. That's all you need to get yourself going. After 10 minutes, you may decide you have a few more minutes to spare. You'll be finished in no time.

Putting your projects off doesn't buy you time, it just adds stress. The longer your to-do list gets, the harder it will be to accomplish the tasks. So just start. Get something done. Today. If you act now to finish a project, you'll be able to enjoy whatever it is that comes up tomorrow. And something always will.

Procrastination

Mothers

2011-05-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

"My mother kissed me softly goodnight after I told her about my day.

She wiped my tears, calmed my fears, and whispered, "You can do it!" along the way.

Her job wasn't an easy one; it was a thankless job, at best.

But her support, service, and love for me make her rise above the rest."

~ Stacy Coles

Where would we be without our mothers? They are the selfless people in our lives who sacrifice everything to make sure those around them are cared for, loved, and safe. They teach us to be kind and loyal. They love us unconditionally. They are there to comfort and heal. Mothers tend to be the ones we might fight with the most and want around the least when we are young and seeking our independence. They are also the ones we lean on the most and go to for words of advice when we are older and needing direction.

Mothers have an intuition about what their child needs, even when those needs are not obvious to the child. I lived away from home during my first year of college. Although money was tight, my parents did everything they could to give me such an opportunity. My mother encouraged me with notes in the mail (no text-messaging, yet), and a constant whispering of "You can do it!" over the phone. She told me to give it my all and make every minute count. But, I think that underneath the encouraging words, she was really preparing me for something more. She was preparing me with a survival guide, of sorts, for the rest of my adult life. She gently pushed me out the door and, without realizing it, I was learning that I could survive without my mother. I was learning to be self-reliant, to trust my instincts, to believe in myself. She taught me to look for something good in everyone and everything.

My dear mother passed away just three months before I graduated from college. It was a sad time, and I cried and hurt just like anyone would after losing a mother. There are still those days when all I want is to feel her arms wrapped around me and hear her whispering, "You can do it!" in my ear. But, when those days come, I try my best to live the way she would want me to live. I mentally pull out my survival guide she so wisely equipped me with and, sometimes through lonely tears, try to find the good in whatever I'm involved with at the time. But, even during the most heart-wrenching days, I know I'm not alone.

Not only was I blessed with a kind and loving mother, I was ~ and still am ~ surrounded by many inspiring women who are good examples of what a good mother should be. I know we all have such treasured people in our lives. These women are neighbors, teachers, sisters, friends, mothers-in-law, step-mothers, aunts, and grandmothers. I keep in touch with these cherished women and constantly learn from them.

We can also learn so much from those women in our lives who have not had children. I know many great women who, although may not be mothers, exemplify the charity and love that all mothers possess. They are kind and nurturing and are always willing to give of their time when the need arises. These are the women who are often forgotten, but who also need to know how much they are cherished and appreciated.

If you find yourself having a spare moment today (every busy mom reading this is laughing right now!), write a little note or send a little text to your mother or another great woman in your life. Tell her how much you love and appreciate her. Let her know that her support, service, and love mean the world to you. Not only will it make you feel good, you will put a smile on someone else's face. And if you've made someone feel good today ~ you've accomplished a lot!

Mothers

Be An Example

2011-04-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

"Live so that those who don't know Him will want to know Him because they know you." - author unknown.

Sometimes you are an example to those you would least suspect are even paying attention to you. These "secret admirers" watch your behavior from afar. They might watch because they truly admire you, or they might watch because they want to catch you doing something that goes against what you stand for.

Having integrity means you do what is right even when no one is watching. It's a quality we should all strive to develop. Integrity makes you honest and trustworthy. It makes you dependable and charitable. It's a quality that might come easy for some, and for others is a daily goal they aim to achieve.

Whichever category we are in, if we become more aware of our actions ~ making sure we are doing what's right whether we are in a crowded room or by ourselves ~ the example we set for those who might be watching will be one we can be proud of.

Think of someone in your life who you have looked up to. What was it about this person that you liked? What qualities did they possess that you wanted to emulate? Did being around them or watching them make you want to be a better person?

While this good example in your life might possess qualities you admire, they might struggle in other areas you aren't aware of. It's good to have someone to look up to, but, even if we do admire someone, keep in mind that no one is perfect. Each one of us has our own package to carry through life. Each package has its ups and downs. How we deal with our own ups and downs can help define our integrity. It can make the difference in whether our "secret admirer" is watching with admiration, or waiting for us to fall.

We should look for examples in our lives that will build us up as individuals. We should admire those who live with integrity and who aren't afraid to let that integrity shine. We should strive to be the kind of example to others that we can be proud of. By aiming to attain integrity, we are exemplifying He who is the greatest example of all.

Be An Example

Of Royal Birth

2011-04-04T14:23:00.000-07:00

"We are children of royal birth. Our Father is king of Heaven and Earth." ~ author unknown.

This is the first line of one of my favorite poems, "Royal Birth." I've used the poem in its entirety in lessons to the youth over the years. It has a very empowering and inspirational message that is beneficial to anyone who takes that message to heart. It tells us that we are children of a heavenly king. That makes each one of us a prince or princess. Although that simple statement might sound silly, it packs a powerful punch. Your possibilities in life are endless. You can go out and take on the world.

But wait. Before you go out and take on the world, you will need the proper armor. Being children of royalty comes with certain responsibilities and the world is a dangerous place without being properly protected.

First, you have to realize and believe that you are somebody very special. You matter. The world would not be the same without you making your mark in it.

Second, you need to develop and share your talents. You were given talents. Some of us might take longer than others to discover those talents, but we all have them. Find joy in those talents and take the time to find and develop new ones. We bless each other by sharing these heavenly and royal gifts.

Third, you need to have a positive attitude. Look for the good in everything and everyone around you. If you look, you will find it. Finding the good will fill you with happiness, leaving no room for the bad thoughts and feelings. Your royal birthright will shine through your eyes in no time! After all, it is said that the eyes are the window to the soul.

So, for the rest of your day, put on your royal armor and think of yourself as the prince or princess that you are. Live in a way that reflects that status. Believe in who you are. Walk straight and tall and know that you are somebody special. After all, "you are a child of royal birth."

Royal Birth - Boy

Royal Birth - Girl